Lost and Found (A Soldiers Prayer); Fictional for some but not for others

Although this is a fictional prayer for me it is not fictional for everyone!

Lord,  I have misplaced a part of myself somewhere.  I looked underneath my couch cushions, then I tore apart the garbage disposal; just in case it had fell down the drain like my ring that fell down there last week.  I cleaned out the bottom of my hall closet, bedroom closet, and even the pantry.  Sadly. the me that I was before was not even there.  Not even on the back burner where I could have sworn was where I left her.

Lord, you know all and sees all.  Could you tell me where she is?  The smiling and happy go lucky me that enjoyed life and meeting new people.  The person that I use to be before I was deployed overseas.

Lord, even though I have been home for a while, sometimes I still feel as if I am once again overseas.  There are times I reality dream that I am hiding down in a fox hole with bullets flying over my head; A few of which had come close to giving me a permanent part.  As I watch a lot of my fellow comrades  fall to the ground as if someone had pushed the first domino in the chain.  At the same time a warm watery acid substance begin falling on me.  I come to and find myself sitting in the tub fully naked underneath a shower set on the hottest temperature.

But, Lord, this is just the beginning.  The one reality dream that scares me the most is when I find myself fighting an enemy in hand to hand contact.  Only to awaken and find that instead I am fighting my spouse, another family member, or even a complete stranger.  On one of these occasion, when I came back to reality and found out that the enemy I was attacking was my spouse I ran out into the street and laid down on the center line in the fetal position.  Of course the police were called and now I find myself in the Psych ward of my local veterans hospital.

Lord, please tell me where I left the old me.