Why did I self publish?

Those close to me know that ever since I leaned to compose my first complete sentence, writing has been a passion of mine. At that time, and experience level in my life, most of mine stories was about whatever stray dog was dumped at our house that day or that week or to aggravate my older, teenage, sisters by writing stories about them getting a pimple.

As writing, and reading, became a very important part of every day of my waking hours, the goal of having my words in print, either formatted in a hard cove or paperback format was a dream of mine.  I began to submit my unedited, manuscripts and query letters to any and every publishing house that I could think of.  To which, the only type if replies that I would receive were rejection letters. 

Decades later, I received my first acceptance letter for the Prayers of Motherhood manuscript.  To say that I was excited would be an understatement.  Having been taught to read the small print before you sign on the dotted line, I began reading the contract; I had studied to be a Paralegal.  I found the, smoking, small print of the very last page where it stated that in order for them to start the publishing process on my book, they will need close to $4,000 for the PR and Marketing cost.  At the time I was an unemployed, single mother.  I did not have $4,000 and was not willing to put my self or allow my family go in debt, so that I could have my first book published.

Homeward Bound

The following days after giving birth felt like, literally, riding an emotional roller coaster.  As the Estrogen and Endorphins began to battle against each other to see which one would reach its normal level first. Leaving me feeling confused, emotional, and exhausted.  Needing some sort of clarity, I said a silent prayer:

"Lord, I am feeling some kind of way right now.  A way that I have never felt before.  Are these normal post system of child birth?  Oh Lord, I cannot stand feeling this way."

Because I began running a fever, and my son was having trouble breathing, we stayed in the hospital for a week before we were released.  As a hospital orderly pushed me to my sister's waiting car, I said a silent prayer:

"Lord,"
"Yes, Rachel."
"What are they thinking releasing this innocent infant into my care?"
"You will be fine Rachel."
"But, I do not know anything about taking care of an infant."
"Recall how you have helped your sisters raise their children."
"But, they went home in thirty minutes to an hour later."
"You learned more than you think."
"I understand Lord but I will be responsible for him 24/7 365 day a year."
"I will be there each second to help you."
"Thank you, Lord."

     As I cautiously maneuvered myself into the back seat of my sister's car I unknowingly placed my arm around my son for the short ride home.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!

You can now purchase the entire Prayers of Motherhood series on Amazon or Kindle.

Hey Guys! Sorry for the lapse in posts but I have been creating a backlog of drafts and working on a special project; which will be revealed in the next couple of weeks.  So stay tuned.

Love you guys,  My sisters and brothers in Christ.